taking paranoia to a whole new level...

i interrupt this day of testing to bring you the latest news from mwms. <--yup, it's that interesting that i feel the need to share now, even though i should be memorizing more "road-kill" slides for my practical at 1pm.* mwms is relatively new, and one of the things it's known for is its plethora of security cameras. seriously--there are security cameras everywhere, except the cadaver lab (for hippa reasons) and the restrooms. we also have to badge-swipe in and out of the building. this would all be par for the course if the school were located in the heart of some major metropolis like most schools. but, i kid you not, the only thing near the school is a field of cows. that, and the ymca & red cross. but i don't think any of those entities are dangerous enough to warrant the levels of security present. sure, it's nice to be able to leave my laptop in a study room for a while and not have to worry about it being stolen. but i think it would be that way even if we didn't have cameras everywhere. the school is just not that big. so....the secretary had emailed us on friday to remind us of the time our test was to begin (as if we'd forget...) and told us that cell phones would not be allowed in the lecture hall during the exam (duh). we had the written portion of our exam this morning. in the beginning, things went as usual...they let us into the room, we all found seats, we began bubbling those damn scantrons (someone should create a stamp or a barcode sticker or something so that i don't have to keep bubbling in my name, dammit!), etc. in the midst of this, the head anatomy instructor gave general instructions; you know, the usual: there are this many pages, don't forget to erase completely if you change an answer, use a #2 pencil or the world will come to an end, etc. but here was the kicker: he then announced that only one person at a time would be allowed to use the restroom during the exam. fair enough, right? oh, but it gets better.... everyone who needed to use the restroom during the exam had to be *chaperoned.* the chaperone would stand by the sinks in the restroom and give each person a total of 2 minutes max to do their business. i'm not kidding. i couldn't make this stuff up if i tried. now, i don't know about you, but i'm the kind of person that likes to use the bathroom in private. i have nothing against bodily processes--they don't bother me one bit and i'm not ashamed of them--but my sphincters have a different attitude. there are times in the past where i've had to take a drug test for a new job and it's taken me like 15 minutes to pee because i was being "watched." my sphincters don't like to be watched. they don't like to be heard, either, for that matter. so i'm really grateful that i didn't have to use the restroom during the exam because i think it would've been a huge problem. i'm surprised they didn't say we'd have to leave the stall doors open! and i feel for the guys--i've never understood how men manage to pee at urinals given how public they are--but can you imagine trying to pee knowing that your anatomy professor is staring at your parts? couldn't that be construed as sexual harassment or something? it just seems...ridiculous. as you can see, just about the time i start to feel like i'm not giving mwms enough credit for the things they do well, they pull stunts like this. i'm not in medical school, i'm in prison. and the guards are paranoid.

*gulp*
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* I call our practical slides of gross dissections road-kill because that's what they look like to me--road-kill. some of them, particularly in this section (head/neck), are downright indecipherable unless we're given some point of orientation. which we're often not....