the first day -- again...

i'm amazed that one year after writing this post, i've just relived the first day of medical school again. today was like one gigantic deja-vue dream. the slides were the same. the lecturers were the same. the message was the same (aka: they own my ass. still.). the only difference? this time, they decided to begin anatomy on day one. so in addition to hours of talks on policies and procedures, we had two hours of anatomy lecture. that shocked most of the incoming students, i could tell. it's one thing to hear described how much information will be thrown at us; it's an entirely different thing to experience it. by the end of the day, it seemed like the class was rather sobered.

i feel like being a brat and saying 'i told you so,' particularly to my roommate, who was eyeing me suspiciously all weekend as i studied anatomy. "classes haven't even started yet!" she exclaimed. my response? "it doesn't matter." i kept studying.

when i mention to my new set of peers that i'm a returning student, i get some pretty odd looks. many people prickle a bit, on the assumption that i've got some kind of academic advantage. sure, i've heard these anatomy lectures before--but i'm not certain that makes up for the loss of confidence that comes from having done poorly in the course the first time around.

the days leading up to today were riddled with anxiety for me. can i do this? am i well enough? should i do this? am i making the right decision? is it worth it? what if i fail? <--these were just a few of the questions rattling around in my head. i still don't have answers to the questions. but i did come up with one crazy idea: to find one thing, each day, that i learned that interested me. i'm sure on many days there will be more than one thing that piques my curiosity--but it's not always easy to remember to be curious in the midst of such a pressured environment. since i'm here because i love to learn, though, i need to remind myself why i'm doing this. and i need to remind myself as often as possible. so...i'm off to a new start again. here's to hoping the road will be less bumpy this time around....

....

interesting factoid of the day:

"during early embryonic development cilia containing a 9 + 0 pattern of microtubules establish the left-right asymmetry of internal organs"*

this quotation refers to the fact that there are these itty bitty hairlike processes (cilia) that extend from cells that help cells to move (think of high school biology class and seeing weird critters move around under the microscope via what look like little caterpillar legs.). apparently, recent research studies have shown that the location of the internal organs in the body (i.e. that our heart is on the left & the liver on the right, etc.) comes from the movement of these little cilia found on cells really early in embryonic development. the significance? people who lack these little cilia end up with situs inversus, a condition in which the internal organs are reversed in their position, such that what is usually on the right ends up on the left and vice versa.

sketch of the apperance of situs inversus in the thorax

pretty cool, no? ;-)

....

daily mileage:
orientation lectures: 6.5 hours
anatomy lectures: 2 hours
time spent trying to get the class schedule to print properly: 1 hour
individual study time: 0 hours

....

* Ross, M et al. "Histology: A Text and Atlas." 5th ed. New York: Lippincott, 2006. Pp. 105

rant: Breaking News - Cleavage on Display

Have we reverted to the Victorian Age? Based upon the following email I received from NOW, one would think so.

Breaking News: Cleavage on Display

"There was cleavage on display Wednesday afternoon on C-SPAN2. It belonged to Sen. Hillary Clinton... There wasn't an unseemly amount of cleavage showing, but there it was. Undeniable," the Washington Post reported.

NEWSFLASH: Hillary Clinton has breasts.

And apparently that "news" merits coverage in the Washington Post.

In a Style section cover story on Friday, fashion "reporter" Robin Givhan notes that Hillary Clinton has taken a brazen step for a woman politician by wearing a low neckline. "Showing cleavage," says Givhan, "is a request to be engaged in a particular way. It doesn't necessarily mean that a woman is asking to be objectified, but it does suggest a certain confidence and physical ease."

Shock! Horror! A prominent woman showing confidence and physical ease!

Givhan goes on with her psychobabble: "It means that a woman is content being perceived as a sexual person in addition to being seen as someone who is intelligent, authoritative, witty and whatever else might define her personality. It also means that she feels that all those other characteristics are so apparent and undeniable, that they will not be overshadowed."

This article about the frontrunning candidate for U.S. president caused quite a stir in the NOW office this morning, eliciting reactions ranging from "You've got to be kidding!" to "What century is this?" The piece is definitely outrageous, but it's also hilarious. Absurdly hilarious. And it's an indictment of our society's lingering archaic notions of femininity, assumptions about breasts and sexuality, and fears about powerful women.

What do you think? Share with us your take on this story -- whether analysis or satire. We'll post the best ones on the web site. Send your submissions to cleavage@now.org.

Read more on media treatment of politicians including Hillary Clinton. Sign our petition to major media outlets. Send this story to your friends.

my reaction to all of this?

*headdesk*

Basically, the Washington Post is saying that in order to be taken seriously in this world, I have to have a sex change operation. I mean, that can be the only conclusion, given that I am a woman who has breasts and that, no matter what I do, they're evident. As a future female physician, will I always be second-guessed because of them? What a horror, to think that a physician might *gasp* have breasts!

Come on, Victoria's Secret, where's your new line of cinch bands for women who want to have successful careers?

clearly, you've missed the market....

more fun, silly, taking-up-webspace things...

i'm in a goofy mood today and have decided to waste time (i.e. procrastinate) by puttering around with my blog. i saw a meme on another site that i liked and decided to tweak it a little, answer it, then pass it on. i tag j.p., americanmum, and dr. cs. :-)

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Yes. The poet Dylan Thomas' wife, but she was "star-crossed" so my mom changed the spelling. ;-)
   
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Last week. After waking up from a nightmare about my impending Anatomy class. (Okay, I admit it, I'm a wimp! I don't like being told that I'm stupid 10-20x per day for 10 weeks!)
   
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Yes, but everyone tells me it is too neat for a physician, so I may have to make it sloppier.
   
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? almond butter!
   
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? kids = baby goats, dammit. so, no, i don't have a goat and i don't own a farm. but if the question intends to ask whether i have children, do my cats count? if so, yes. if the human kind is being implied, then no.
   
   
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? i sure hope so.
   
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? define "a lot"? ;-)
   
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? ooh, actually, YES--tonsils are a body part i've managed to retain (knock on wood).
   
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? no. working in the trauma center cured me from the desire to do anything of the sort.
   
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? i don't like cereal, unless you count granola or oatmeal...
    
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? people still wear shoes with laces?!? just kidding. ;-) no, i generally just slip 'em off.
    
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? some days, yes. some days, no.
    
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? harrell's cinnamon nutmeg. but since i can only get harrell's at a certain time/place, ben & jerry's mint chocolate cookie is my most frequent choice.
    
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? their tone of voice.
    
15. RED OR PINK? red.
    
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? my sickly health.
    
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? mjt
    
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? no, i want them to post it on their blogs & pass it on.
    
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? navy pajama pants, no shoes.
    
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? whole food's organic instant oatmeal with flax seeds.
    
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the sound of the wind in the trees (or what i can hear of it over the hum of the air conditioner and the tappity-tap of the keyboard).
    
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? midnight blue
23. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SMELLS? pumpkin or apple pie baking, fresh rain hitting the ground, & certain men's cologne's/soaps.
    
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my mom! :-)
    
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? erm, technically this wasn't sent to me--i nabbed it from monkeygirl...but, yes, i like this person's internet persona.
    
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? home renovation. ;-)
    
27. HAIR COLOR? mine? brown.
    
28. EYE COLOR? chestnut, with sprinkles of green.
    
29. ARE YOU: OVERWEIGHT, UNDERWEIGHT, JUST RIGHT, OR NEVER RIGHT? starved, because without my gallbladder, i can't eat ben & jerry's. :-( definitely moving back toward the underweight category at this point....
    
30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? nope, just glasses for distance when I'm driving or trying to read another boring powerpoint lecture at school.
    
31. FAVORITE FOOD? does chocolate count? if not, thai masaman curry with tofu. (<--another thing i can't eat...i'm starting to sense a theme here....)
32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings.
    
33. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? "carmen meets carmen" on the internet (my friend was conducting!); "stranger than fiction" on dvd.
    
34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? heather grey.
    
35. SUMMER OR WINTER? depends upon where i'm living!
36. HUGS OR KISSES? hugs.
37. FAVORITE DESSERT? anything with chocolate or pumpkin (although not usually both at the same time).
    
38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? besides the bazillion textbooks i'm constantly reading for med school? "between heaven and earth" a text about chinese medicine, which i highly recommend to anyone who is interested in the subject. (of course, with what i read, i'm like the new england weather--wait five minutes and it'll change. i should have begun this page with: "hello, my name is student_dr_blaze and i'm a biblioholic." ;-) )
    
39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? my alma mater's seal.
    
40. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT? flip this or that house.
    
41. FAVORITE SOUND? the deep chuckle of a happy baby.
    
42. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? indigo girls.
    
43. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME/HERE? israel.
    
44. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? i can stand on my toes.
    
45. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? in a hospital on a sunny day.
    
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT? anywhere new.
    
47. WHAT'S THE ONE THING THAT YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO DO BUT HAVEN'T DONE YET? deliver a baby.
    
48. WHAT'S THE ONE SIMPLE THING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? a long, hot shower.
    
49. HAVE YOU EVER TRULY BEEN IN LOVE? yes.
    
50. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK/AUTHOR? i have to choose just one?!? <--that's a herculean task. i'll go with what i know best: adrienne rich's dream of a common language.
    
51. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? on the wooden swing underneath the big maple tree overlooking the pond at my alma mater.
    
52. WHAT'S YOUR PERSONAL THEME SONG? currently: breathe/2am by anna nalick
    
53. ARE YOU REGISTERED AS A REPUBLICAN, A DEMOCRAT, OR AN INDEPENDENT? registered Democrat, independent at heart.
    
54. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, HOW DID YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME? reading or dancing.
    
55. WHAT IS THE AIR-SPEED VELOCITY OF AN UNLADEN SWALLOW? african or european?
    

the lemming effect

first americanmum did it. then dr. cs followed suit. so, i decided to become a lemming, join in the fun, and turn it into a meme of sorts. j.p., i tag you--you're it!

what's the fun? the new simpsons movie has an avatar creator so that anyone can make their own simpson self. it's rather amusing and, in the midst of so much seriousness, i thought it couldn't hurt to spice things up with a little humor. try it out for yourself here.

as for me? within the parameters given (what? simpsons don't wear birkenstocks? what's up with that?!?), i found simpsons_me. ;-) enjoy!


oh, and in case you're wondering about the t-shirt choice...could there be a better option for a vegetarian? i think not. ;-)

rant: "...i hope he does a good job."

just when it seemed that the situation couldn't get any worse...he used the pardon card. super_blaze pointed me to this video--hard to believe it actually appeared on live television, but i guess we haven't lost our 1st amendment rights (yet)--and i think it says, succinctly and eloquently, what so many americans wish they could say to w right about now.

pass it on!